Developing Patience

A Journey Towards Inner Serenity

Patience often seems like a forgotten art. But it’s a timeless quality indispensable for personal growth, emotional well-being and success in various aspects of life. Developing patience is not merely a matter of waiting for something. It’s about mastering self-control, understanding the importance of timing, and learning to savour the journey as much as the destination. As you read through this, think about how patience plays a role in your daily life. How often do you find yourself needing to slow down and take a deep breath?

Why Patience Matters

Patience is often described as the ability to endure waiting or delay without frustration or agitation. It also involves persevering with something despite difficulties, or suffering without complaining. More than just a desirable trait, it is a fundamental component of emotional intelligence and a crucial element in achieving one’s goals and maintaining healthy relationships. Patience empowers individuals to weather life’s storms and challenges, fostering resilience and fortitude. It enables us to approach problems with a clear mind and a calm heart so we make better decisions and find more effective solutions. I have a hunch that most of us can think of a time when by consciously making an effort to be patient we were rewarded with a better outcome, even if it wasn’t easy to stay patient in the heat of the moment. Practising patience is all about committing to achieving those kinds of outcomes more often.

The Benefits of Patience

Let’s explore some of the benefits that come with developing this vital trait.

Reducing stress and anxiety is one of the most immediate benefits of cultivating patience.

When we are patient, we are less likely to react impulsively to difficult situations. This self-control reduces negative emotions and can positively impact our overall health. Think back to a recent situation where patience helped you stay calm. How did this calm affect your day, or even your health?

Another significant benefit is improved relationships with other people.  Patience is the cornerstone of healthy personal interactions. Whether you’re engaging with family, friends, or colleagues, practising patience allows you to communicate more effectively, resolve conflicts amicably and build trust. Consider one of the trickier relationships in your life: How might practising patience improve it? Have you ever noticed a difference in your interactions when you approach them with a calm, patient mindset?

Lastly, success in achieving our goals often requires perseverance and tenacity, both of which are underpinned by patience. Accomplishing major goals takes time and effort, and impatience can make us prematurely abandon them. As Malcolm Gladwell suggests in his book, Outliers, it typically takes around ten thousand  hours of practice to achieve mastery in any field. In other words, a lot of hard work sustained by patience.

Strategies for Developing Patience

Now, let’s look at some practical strategies that can help us cultivate our patience.

Mindfulness meditation is one powerful tool we can use. Meditation gives us more control over our minds. And mindfulness teaches us to observe our thoughts and emotions without judgement, allowing us to respond to situations with greater equanimity. In his book, Wherever You Go, There You Are, Jon Kabat-Zinn explores the benefits of mindfulness in developing patience. If you haven’t tried mindfulness meditation yet, this volume might just give you the nudge you need.

Another effective strategy is mastering delayed gratification. The famous Stanford marshmallow experiment, conducted by Walter Mischel, scientifically proved the benefits of resisting the urge to indulge in any opportunity for immediate pleasure that might come along. In it, children who could resist eating a marshmallow in return for a later, bigger reward, showed higher achievement and better life outcomes as adults. As adults, we often face situations where waiting for a better result requires patience, whether it’s saving money for a dream vacation or waiting for the right time to have a thoughtful conversation. Remember the wisdom in Lao Tsu’s saying, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. 

Finally, practising empathy can also help you become more patient in your interactions. By putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, you can better appreciate their perspective and be less prone to frustration. Think of times when showing empathy, perhaps with a family member or friend, led to a more peaceful and understanding conversation.

If you’re looking for more ways to develop patience, The Book of Patience: 250 Ways to Become a More Patient You, by Courtney E. Ackerman, is an excellent source. As is generally the case when it comes to developing a new ability, consulting experts speeds up the process. Just don’t be in such a hurry that you get impatient about being patient!

Conclusion

As we’ve explored, cultivating patience can enhance our emotional well-being, strengthen our relationships, and pave the way towards our goals. It’s a virtue that requires practice and conscious effort, but it brings immeasurable rewards. Developing patience allows us to rise above the challenges and setbacks we encounter in life, ultimately leading us to inner serenity and personal growth.

So, why not take a moment today to reflect on where you can begin to apply these principles? Whether it’s in a personal goal, a relationship, or even in how you treat yourself, small steps towards patience can lead to significant change. Remember, each time you practise patience, you’re not just waiting, you’re growing.

Questions

How would you describe your relationship with patience? Has it changed as you’ve grown older? Reflect on a time when being patient led to a positive outcome in your life. What did you learn from that experience? What strategies do you find most effective in cultivating patience, especially during challenging situations? How have these practices impacted your emotional well-being?

I’d love to hear your insights and experiences, so please feel free to reach out and share!

Published in August, 2024